My breast has been leaking fluid—now enough to wet the inside of my bra cup. At first I wasn’t too alarmed, but the amount is increasing. I did buy three more pregnancy tests from the dollar store, just to be sure. I took the final test this morning. When I saw only one pink line again, my heart sank.
If I’m not pregnant, there is definitely something wrong. The fluid is translucent and pale yellow/brown. If I squeeze my breast a little, more emerges. There seems to be no end to it. This can’t be normal. Could it be an infection? I know it’s not. I’ve had plenty of antibiotics for bronchitis and sinus infections in the past year and they haven’t affected the breast at all. And I have been feeling really ill and fatigued for months. I’ve lost almost 15 pounds without changing my eating habits. This can’t be good.
I’m scared now, but I haven’t told anyone what is going on. Why haven’t I cared enough about myself to get this checked out again? If this were happening to anyone else, I would say, “WTF (and I don’t swear… well, not that much anyway…), it is not nothing. You are NOT too young. Get yourself to a doctor. I’ll take you right now. The money is not important.” Why haven’t I done this for myself?
Hopefully it is nothing and I’ll feel silly when this is all over with.
But I know it’s not nothing…
Before breast cancer I was so polite and never. NEVER. cussed in public. I never used the F-word. Now I use it at will. I have earned the right. I have paid my dues. Triple negative breast cancer. Surgery. Chemo. Radiation. I can swear whenever and however I want. ‘Nuff said.
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