For the past 6, 7, 8 months—I forget how long, exactly?—I’ve had this feeling that reminds me of when I breastfed my twins. It is like the “let-down” feeling you experience when nursing. I have been joking for months that I’m actually pregnant and just don’t know it and that I will end up on that show about women who are pregnant and don’t realize it until the babies pop out onto their shoe, or in their pants, or in the restroom at a fast food restaurant. The breast feeling has been so consistent that I’ve actually taken multiple negative pregnancy tests. But they have been negative for women on the show, too, so that’s no guarantee.
All kidding aside, I am becoming quite concerned about this unpleasant feeling. In the past month or so (I’ve lost track of time, but I think it has been well over a month) it has become constant. When you are nursing, you have a break from this tingly, consuming feeling. But it is not letting up. I feel it ALL of the time. I think there is something wrong. My gut tells me that giving birth to a surprise baby in my bathtub would be the best case scenario right now.
You may be asking why haven’t I been back to the doctor? If you are, I applaud you. This would be my first question to you. It is a logical question and would have been my first step a couple of years ago.
So, why haven’t I been back to the doctor?
I don’t have health insurance. After my husband was let go suddenly from the company he worked for for a decade, we lost the policy we had for years. I was able to secure coverage for our 5 year old twins, but my husband and I have no coverage now. I don’t want to do anything that might jeopardize our family financially, but I think it’s time for me to see a doctor…